End of Summer Thoughts

Well, in what felt like forever and the blink of an eye at one time, summer is over. It isn't over for the real world, but I go back to school tomorrow for teacher inservice week! While I would NEVER trade in getting out of school in May when the weather is perfect, it is rough knowing that summer for us is half over soon after "official" summer begins.

All that said, I am ready. I have a new teaching partner, a couple new members of the team I am really excited about, and I am ready for a new batch of kiddos. This year, I am only teaching reading and writing, which both breaks my heart and excites me at the same time. I am excited for the simplicity, and the laser focus I will be able to have. I am planning to do a lot of mini reading lessons involving science and social studies books and related topics, so I can get my fix in. Science is the love of my life, reading comes second.

I am really proud at how I spent my summer. I really didn't travel at all, in the end. I thought I would go to North Carolina, maybe Pennsylvania, and definitely to the beach and to Lake Anna. Funny thing is, none of those things happened. Not one. Getting more focused about finances and changing my approach to that was a major reason, as my current car won't last forever and this time next year I am hoping to be in graduate school. Despite not doing these things, I still did a lot. I spent my time focused on myself, and after a rough school year, that was exactly what I needed. I rediscovered old loves and started some new ones, and I am very excited about how continuing them during the year will help me feel when things at school get overwhelming.

Reading - I used to be the most voracious reader as a child. Going through one book per day on a weekend was agiven, and often it was two. College kind of broke me of my love, as it does so many, and I only read lightly from then on. This summer I read most days for at least an hour, which sparked the book monster inside me, and I couldn't be more excited about it!

Podcasts - I admit, despite podcasts being so trendy right now, I never understood them. Then, as I was looking for a new outlook on weight loss, I decided to look at podcasts as an option. Now, I listen to podcasts of all kinds. I listened for at least an hour a day most days this summer, like reading. I listen when I cook, when I am wasting time playing freecell, and when I drive most often. 

Kombucha - I both fell in love with drinking kombucha as a soda replacement and brewing my own this summer. This one is major as it inspires a bit of creativity, has a "cooking" element, saves money, and is generally really cool. I have brewed 3 batches so far, and the carbonation has not quite gotten there yet, but I think that is largely because I got overexcited and increased my brews from one gallon to two very quickly, and my scoby is growing but still hasn't gotten big enough to brew strong enough yet to accommodate that. I also began making a kombucha sibling, Jun. Jun is a fermented tea as well but uses green tea and honey, supposedly is fizzier (which could be perfect!), loves colder temps (we keep it rather cool here), and brews faster! Updates on that after I brew a batch or two.

Cooking - I did a great job this summer at balancing ordering food (a constant temptation) and cooking. I made some very indulgent things, and they are things I plan to keep in my arsenal. Cooking has been an area I have worked to improve on since beginning this blog, so I am always excited when I realize how much more I have grown and how much growth I have yet to do.

Swimming - I might not have gone to Lake Anna or the beach, but I did find a little place to swim on the river, and went swimming a few times. As it turns out, I don't necessarily care how I get to swim, as long as swimming is an option!

Now, on to some surprising things I did not do this summer. Well, not surprising that I did not do them, but very surprising that I do not mind.

Walk, bike, or exercise much - Despite having all the time in the world, I really slacked off here. I am 100% ok with it. I started the summer walking like a fiend because the weather was amazing. Then I got attacked by a snake, saw the scariest spider I have ever seen in my life, and it got hot. I am very sensitive to heat, and I began resenting exercise. An activity I normally love and need to function was causing me such negative feelings, I gave myself permission to take a break this summer. I am now excited for the weather to cool down so I can get back to it. My fitness level has gone to the crapper, but it doesn't take long to get it all back!

Lose weight - I spent all summer trying to get back on track, and failed. I would be on track for a few days, then blow it, and the cycle would continue. I just have such a hard time sitting at home all day, being able to cook, and not going over calories! During the school year, all physical needs (including hunger) tend to be on hold from 7am-4pm. I eat breakfast, lunch, and a snack, but the calories are a lot more limited, and give me more freedom for dinner. Combined with my lack of exercise, I maintained my weight for the most part. I am pretty proud of that. I think everyone needs a break sometimes. I have a lot of weight to lose, so really, what rush am I in? As of this past Wednesday, I have been tracking my food again, and starting next Wednesday plan to be back on plan because school will have begun.

In all, a great summer. Very few to no complaints. Next summer, I am hoping to have the financial freedom to travel a little more, get my ass to the beach like I have been trying to do for the last five years, and maybe start graduate school. I feel rested, prepared, and generally excited for the new year!

Recipe: Butter Chicken

I am the absolute worst at controlling my spending when it comes to ordering Indian food. I love everything about it. Given that I am trying to not throw away all of my money, particularly over this summer, I jumped at the chance to try to make it on my own when I came across what seemed like a really manageable recipe!

Here is the recipe I used (mostly correctly, which is also a surprise when I make anything for the first time): The BEST Butter Chicken

So, the first step involves marinating chicken, and I marinated mine for 24 hours.

 I messed up and added ghee to the marinade because I misunderstood the written recipe, but it didn't hurt anything.

The next day, I just charred the edges of the chicken in a pan with ghee, removed it, and cooked down the tomato as directed.

I tend to have the hardest time being patient and I jump the gun in recipes and they don't turn out quite right but this time, I succeeded at resisting that urge! The tomatoes cooked for probably 25 minutes.

Such buttery goodness. Then, adding heavy cream told me what I always suspected but never REALLY understood: butter chicken is terrible for you. Next time, I would not add the full two cups though, I would try it with a cup and a half to make it a bit more tomato-y.

Once stirred together, the sauce becomes so silky and smooth! I added the chicken and let it simmer as the recipe instructs. It looked SO good and smelled absolutely amazing.

I couldn't find fenugreek leaves at any store around here, and ended up having to make a few changes. I used about a tsp of the ground seed, even though I know the taste is not quite the same, and instead of sugar I used plain maple syrup as the sweetener. At the end, the flavor was a hair flat, so I added another tablespoon of maple syrup and it turned out delicious. That being said, I plan to order fenugreek leaves so I can do this recipe properly soon!

It tasted so completely amazing. Not exactly like my local restaurant (unsurprisingly), but it was definitely as delicious. The flavor was just a bit different. I highly recommend trying this recipe if you love Indian food. I am trying chicken tikka masala next!!

Been Awhile!

Well, it has been quite a long time since my last post. As it tends to be with teaching, and moving, things were quite the whirlwind. Combined with my first teaching year being (predictably) overwhelming, things like this blog got away from me.

I am hoping to restart posting here regularly, but first I should do some catch up first.

Location: I am still living in Virginia. It took me over a year to furnish this apartment so it looked like a real (semi) adult lived here, but I finally did it! I enjoy this area, and could see myself staying long term. I live with a girl I lived with in college, and having her as a roommate has been awesome.

Work: I have loved being a third grade teacher the last two years. Third grade is really in my wheelhouse as a great age group, and I have worked with some amazing people. There have been some issues with some coworkers and certain students, but such is life. I am excited to start a new year with a fresh batch of kids this fall.

Dating: I have been casually dating a man here for about a year, it is not destined to go anywhere, as he is a certifiable train wreck. But we have fun, he is a lovely person, and he provides companionship as I periodically attempt dating elsewhere. So far, my attempts have been unsuccessful, but school tends to be all consuming. I make stronger attempts during summers.

Tea: The tea hoard is actually getting under control. School has prevented me from being as active on Steepster as I would like, but school also prevents me from justifying new tea purchases. I have slowly but surely been working on it. New count to come soon, as well as pictures of my awesome tea/coffee setup!

Cooking: I have really gotten my shit together on the cooking front. I am no master chef, but I have mastered quite a few super awesome dishes that I can't wait to post. They are seriously amazing. I've been making a variety of deliciousness, enough that aforementioned man I date has no idea I am not a natural born amazing cook! I am still striving to improve, as I still stick to mostly simple things. No shame in my game, but I don't like the idea of being intimidated by anything, let alone a recipe.

Weight Loss: On January 1 of this year, I rejoined Weight Watchers. Things were kind of stressful at school, I was tired of how I looked and felt, and decided to just get serious and take the plunge. I have lost about 35 pounds since then, and am feeling great! Things have not always gone super smoothly, but I have stuck with it, and have every intention of continuing. My goal for this calendar year is to have lost 65 pounds total, which I feel is doable. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, but I am a big believer in challenging but achievable and realistic goal setting.

Exercise: I have always loved walking, but beginning Weight Watchers spurred me to kick up my exercise into high gear. I bought an inexpensive stationary bike, and went from walking three miles a couple of times per week to walking 5-7 miles five or six times per week. With the summer heat, I have not been exercising nearly as much, but I know come fall I will be walking like it is going out of style again. Walking alone or with my roommate is truly therapeutic for me, and I know I can't stay away for too long!

Well, that is the update. In many ways, things are exactly the same. In so many more, things are very different. My confidence is higher, I am healthier, and more adventurous. I am hitting financial goals, dabbling in the world of podcasts, meditation, reading for pleasure consistently for the first time in too long, and I've decided to start brewing my own kombucha. It is summer, why not?

I have made a particular effort to focus on myself these last six months after spending a year and a half totally immersed in my work, and I am looking forward to continuing to do so even more intentionally!

Taco Spice and Hot Weather

I feel like I am in a kind of calm before the storm phase right now. My life is basically just me applying to jobs like a fiend, wrangling and herding truly insane children subbing, wondering where I will be going and what I will be doing in three months. Probably herding more insane children in a different location, at this rate. Kids are terrible these days - I don't remember feeling unsafe as a second grader, but I would have been absolutely terrified if I were in class with some of these children. In the meantime, it has suddely gotten hot as Hades out. Bye Spring, it was nice knowing you for all of five minutes. So I have been going back to more lazy dishes that don't involve the oven, or much effort at all. I have been terrible about going on walks, or cleaning, or anything that involves moving from in front of my fan that doesn't pay me money.

This "recipe" is kind of a cop out, as I know how to make tacos. They are glorious. But I always find myself needing to go to the store for those spice packets. So I decided to give the recipe from Laura in the Kitchen a go. It took spices I already had, and while those spice packets say they only cost a dollar, this ends up being a fraction of that for several meals' worth.

This was a little over one serving when I made it according to the recipe. It worked out though because after using it, I made two more batches to add to it (which I assume will add up to close to 3 meals' worth) and keep sitting around to encourage even further laziness.

After adding the tomato sauce and water, the only drawback was that this takes a solid ten minutes or so of simmering when the packets seem to take less. Logic tells me if I added a bit less water, I could cut this by a couple minutes without sacrificing anything.

It thickened nicely, and I used the leftover meat for nachos the next day. I like my tacos and my nachos with cheese, sour cream, and taco sauce (or hot sauce). Sour cream on the bottom to act like glue to help hold the meat in place, reducing the wreckage from inevitable taco collapses after the first bite. No space for any stinkin veggies for me. Guac is good too.

Highly recommend.

Long time...Recipe: Light Fettuccini Alfredo

Blogging fail. Since my computer being broken I have been hyper focused on getting my applications re-rolling (as I am discovering there truly is a never ending list of places to apply, given the application takes an hour on average) and getting my computer back to where it was before in terms of preferences and bookmarks and such. Also, subbing is of course a never ending adventure where at the end of most days I shake my head and realize exactly why so few certified teachers without contract jobs are subbing. It is rough work, so far almost as rough as actual teaching, because the pros and cons are so different. I have been exhausted, and taking a day here and there for more stomach trouble which I turn into an application day.

But, I am making good progress and have relooked at DOZENS of recipes I went back to hunt for to restore my to-make list from before. Last night I made this slightly unconventional Light Fettuccini Alfredo recipe from Laura In the Kitchen. She is one of my favorite YouTubers for food, beauty, and to watch vlogs for, which is rare. Don't let the amateurish website with terribly placed ads fool you, she is very good and also has a Food Network show I have yet to see, and a cookbook coming out this fall that I have already pre-ordered. I always find it strange when established brands have websites that look cheap or thrown together, given how easy it can be to find someone to design a site that is attractive, professional, and functional. That being said, I care about her food, not the site, and things are pretty easy to find on there. I tend to only go to the site to search a specific recipe for measurements, I subscribe to her YouTube channel and watch those for my primary instructions. I like that her videos are so easy to follow, as it REALLY helps me to be able to see step by step what things are supposed to look like.

I found this recipe to be easy to follow, very tasty, and pretty darn similar to an alfredo, despite the fact that it isn't made with heavy cream. It also only took me fifteen minutes to make, which is downright miraculous. After a day of teaching, I need things that can be made in a jiffy. It wasn't as creamy when I reheated leftovers, as the pasta absorbed the sauce a lot, but it tasted the same.

Ground chicken was a bit of an odd texture, given that traditionally cut up chicken breast is used, but the flavor was the same, and it did bulk up the dish a lot more. I was concerned I had not added enough flour, but it all worked out in the end.

I have been trying to use up my chicken bouillon cubes, so I used that to make the chicken stock, so I didn't season the chicken with salt when I browned it, and it worked out great.

I was concerned it wouldn't thicken up enough, so I let mine simmer a few minutes longer. My concerns were unfounded, as I underestimated the thickness of the cream cheese. Still had the same great taste, was a bit less saucy because the thicker sauce stuck to the noodles tighter.

I actually used Trader Joe's Garlic Basil Linguine because silly me forgot to buy fettuccini when I went to the store to get cream cheese and parmesan. Good parmesan really does taste better.

Added in the parsley, and that was all it took.

Seriously, fifteen minutes or less to make. Plenty of leftovers, so I would consider making half batches to keep things more reasonable for just me and remaking more fresh the next day so I could keep it saucy, but it was tasty reheated as well.

I am a hair behind schedule with all the sickness and stuff with my goal of cooking 50 new dishes this year, but that's ok. I am not on a schedule. 11 down, 39 more to go, and hopefully two more this week.

Recipe: Spiced Rice

Stomach bug again today. I really don't know why it is that I have been sick more in the past 6 months with colds and allergies and stomach issues than I have my whole life combined. I am hoping (sort of) that it is just stress. But I've been more on top of cooking again, which is good. This recipe was inspired by a recipe I saw on Budget Bytes, for Yellow Jasmine Rice. Except I don't like cinnamon in savory dishes and I didn't have bay leaves and I decided to go bonkers with the other spices. It still tastes fantastic. I had learned the gloriousness of using broth to make rice to give it amazing flavor, I am not sure why I never thought to cook it in spices before.

First, I melted a couple tablespoons of butter.

Then, I added the spices. I added turmeric, cumin, paprika, garlic, a little curry powder, and black pepper. I let them toast up a little and the house smells AMAZING at this point.

Then, I added in the dry rice. I have never made rice this way, but cooking it in the oil dry toasts it up and definitely changes the flavor some. 

I added the water in after a few minutes, adding a bouillon cube as well to create a broth. I normally would use cans or something of higher quality except I have so damn many of those cubes. It still tastes great at the end, and needs no salting at any other point.

The finished product.

I think I might never make rice the regular old way again. This is good as a side dish, it would be amazing as a base for any Indian inspired dishes (or any sauce recipe that normally goes over rice), and it would be very easy to mix in veggies and meat to make it a more complete meal. The best part is that there are infinite ways to tweak this to suit any taste or any meal.

I know my rice game has totally changed.

Recipe: Lentil Soup with Sriracha

I have been doing a lot of cooking these days, and last week was just a rock star cooking week. I tend to only share the recipes that worked super well for me. With the job application process being slow and boring, I feel like I have fewer places for tangible personal development overall. That said, it has been an excellent time to cook a ton, and I have to say I am feeling pretty accomplished lately.

I have been wanting to try a few lentil soup recipes, as I really like lentils and they are inexpensive and nutritious. I also go ga-ga over sriracha. I have had good luck with soup in the past - they are pretty hard to mess up. Or at least pretty easy to fix if you do mess up.

I used this recipe, and didn't need to change a thing, which I appreciated. I made this one a real vampire-repellant...with ten cloves of garlic. It ended up being a great choice for me, though I would be cautious about doing so if I was at risk of being "close" with someone who also didn't eat some. I also used my new chopper, which has totally revolutionized the whole onion issue for me. I can only chop large pieces of a single medium onion before being so teary eyed that I can't safely use a sharp knife. Plus, for this recipe, I liked that I could make it almost pureed.

I am basically obsessed with curry, and I like that this recipe has those flavors in it without being overwhelming. It is flavorful, but definitely not reminiscent of an Indian dish.

I added the tomato and stock and then added the lentils and let it do its thing for an hour.

The finished product.

Then, a generous helping of sriracha. I can honestly say that the soup is flavorful enough without it, for anyone who isn't into heat, but I love the flavor and heat so I go to town.

I personally prefer a chunkier soup overall so I didn't blend this, though I liked that there weren't big chunks of onion or garlic and those flavors were more diffused throughout the soup. It wasn't very liquid at all this way, so if that is something you prefer, don't use as many lentils. Probably even half would make it a more traditional soup consistency.

Recipe: Matcha Chocolate Chip Scones

With all of the new things I am making, a few are standing out as game changers. This is one of them. I don't typically bake all that well, but who knew scones were so easy? Plus, tea and chocolate and baked goods together? Yes, please. I foresee running out of matcha rather quickly now. I adapted this recipe a little bit, as I found the scone mixture to be too sticky on its own. I added a lot more flour in the end, close to another cup's worth. I've made this twice, and it came out really well both times. My first was a hair better, because I spent a bit more time mixing things more thoroughly (my biggest challenge when cooking or baking is impatience), but I'd say this is pretty reliable.

Clearly this is not helping the weight loss a whole lot. I've upped my minimum walking distance to three miles instead of a mile and a half in part because of this exact situation. Whatevs.

Recipe: Sausage and Mushroom Pasta

My overall goal to learn 50 new dishes this year is going super well. I don't plan to share all of them here, just the ones I could see making again. Out of 50 brand new experiments, I consider myself happy if 2/3 are good enough to be repeated, and so far I have done far better. As of today, I am down to 42 more.

This is an Italian style sausage and mushroom pasta - super easy, super tasty. I got the recipe here. Budget Bytes has become a go-to recipe site for me, I have several more bookmarked to try. I only adjusted a couple of things from this recipe. I used fresh oregano and fresh basil, as I am trying to get in the habit of using fresh when I have the opportunity. I really believe it made a huge flavor difference. I also used hot Italian sausage - I prefer the flavor, but I also feel like it seasoned the whole dish super well. I didn't add any extra salt or pepper at all. My sausage was locally made, and less firm, so there was more oil in the bottom of the pan. I also cooked 4 links, but only sliced three for the final dish - one was lunch. More oil = more unhealthy but more flavor. I also sauteed the garlic and onions and mushrooms in the oil a little before adding the tomato. Finally, a friend recommended I partially cook the pasta and add less stock so I could prevent mushiness.

You can see, my sausages are bigger and crumblier. Still yummy.

I sliced mine thickly because it wasn't as firm - it doesn't matter in terms of flavor. I think next time I would consider just removing it all from the casing and browning it like ground meat.

Mixing in onion, garlic, and mushrooms in the oil.

Added tomatoes and partially cooked pasta. I used ziti because that is what I had on hand.

Finished. Not particularly fancy looking or refined...but damn tasty. This turned out absolutely fantastic, and it reheated really well too. I've been on a mission to use up the excessive amount of carbs in my pantry, and this was a great help. Seriously, I have no idea how I got POUNDS AND POUNDS of pasta, rice, and other grains...but I have a feeling I will be spending the next six months using it up. 

Icy Day

My motivation is a bit off today, and has been lately. Getting signed up for subbing has just been one annoying road block after another, the latest being that I need to get a new TB test done. And of course, it is ice pellet-ing today. Schools are closed, and I nearly killed myself getting something from my car, so no driving to get it done today.

I am trying to maintain perspective. Worked on application stuff for contract positions instead, repeating in my head that this is really the end goal. Subbing is just something to do, a way to get my face into schools, and make a little money while I work on getting the contract job. The real goal. Without that I have little to no idea where I am headed in 6 months, which is not a state of being I really enjoy.

Additionally, I realized yesterday that today was my dear friend Tracy's birthday. Tracy passed away from breast cancer almost four years ago at age 30. I truly can't believe how time has flown, but it also somehow feels so much longer than that. I met her two months before she got diagnosed, when I had just moved to Baltimore and begun working at the animal hospital. I was having a hell of a time fitting in there and adjusting to my new position. In the months after her diagnosis, we started to get a lot closer. I didn't know then that after she was diagnosed, she lost a huge number of her oldest friends. I never thought about her cancer as impacting whether or not we would be friends. She was a lovely, inspiring person who never ever stopped working for her dreams and improving herself. She was diagnosed as stage 4, but still sought out opportunities to go back to school and start her own business.

I think, as frustrated as I am about my employment situation, it was good for me to have reason to stop and remember her so much today. Not because I am alive and she is not and she was SO alive right up until she wasn't, or because I feel bad for being frustrated. But because she would be so proud of what I am doing, even at my most frustrated. She saw the good in everything. To this day, the most touching compliment I have ever received was the time she told me I was brave. It was six months after I moved to Baltimore, deeply struggling with the transition, and learning to live on my own. I was telling her that I was feeling like a failure at my job, at practical life things like knowing what to do when the car won't start, and other practical day to day things I seemed to lack knowledge about. And she just looked at me and told me that I was one of the bravest people she had ever met. I had chosen a profession that was hard, not really in line with the expectations of my family, and moved to a new city where I really didn't know many people to make a life for myself. She had never left Baltimore, and I had never considered how it might affect someone to never live anywhere else.

So while I might not be meeting standards I set for myself, pretty much ever, I try to remember how supportive Tracy was, and that I shouldn't minimize what I am doing because even if it is not going as quickly as I would like or according to plan, it is more than most people even try to do. I should be proud.

So today, I am working on the big dream, the contract job stuff, in Tracy's honor, and not worrying about subbing. Well, not worrying as much as I am capable of not worrying. I have been talking to a new guy on OkCupid, a professional musician who seems to live very much in the now. I wasn't expecting to enjoy him as much as I have been, and he said he would call to talk again today or tomorrow. He is a lovely phone chatter, which helps undo some of the dating frustration. I think regardless of what does or doesn't happen, he was the exact right person for me to encounter right now, during a time where I need help worrying less about the future even as I work towards it.

I am also working on my yearly goals by making a new recipe today. I have one planned to post about already, and this will be another if it turns out as well as I hope it will. Today is an icy, semi rainy day. Tracy always said that she loved rainy days, not because she liked the rain, but because we need the rain. Today is a rainy day.

Goals and Resolutions

Welcome to 2015, and may it be an amazing year for everyone. It will be one of big changes for me, that is for sure.

I am not a huge resolution-y kind of person, because I find they end up setting me up for failure if I am not succeeding a few months in. So I stick more to goals, and keep them generalized. I do tend to have target numbers, but that is really only to keep me focused on always moving forward.

Goal: Continue to lose weight. Ideally, around 40-50lbs.
Goal: Cook more, order out less. Financially, this one is necessary. Health wise it is helpful too. I want to learn 50 new recipes this year. Even if I only try them once, even if it is simple and three ingredients or involves super low prep. My biggest challenge with cooking is just my lack of experience so trying anything new is a huge help in the long run. 50 sounds like a lot, but really the goal is about one per week.
Goal: Continue to amp up the exercise. I did a great job walking more in 2014, particularly over the summer, and I want to continue that trend of walking more, but also incorporating the couch to 5k program I started.
Goal: Finish more of what I have, organize better, keep cleaner. I have trouble with clutter, and having lots of things around. Particularly makeup, beauty products, and tea. I am already well on my way to paring down the makeup stash even more (a serious win of 2014), haven't bought new lotion in months (thank god), and have made great progress in lowering my overall tea stash. And I have done a great job in organizing my three main hoards so that I use more, more efficiently. This year I began the rule of "if you haven't touched it in a year, contemplate if you REALLY need it" when it comes to organizing. I need to continue that effort throughout my apartment, in prep for moving in the summer.

I believe all of these things are good, attainable goals even among unknown moving situations and job stress and whatever may come.

I am so proud of my progress with my tea. I posted in August about having 45 samples and 59 containers of full size tea. Thanks to amazing deals and a general lack of control, even as I gave away a ton of tea throughout the fall and drank a ton...I currently have 66 full sizes and 47 samples as of December 31. Womp. Why am I proud? Because I reorganized them, have begun purchasing more wisely in general, and am still plowing through my stash at a rapid enough rate that I feel confident I can continue to get my stash to a more manageable level in 2015. My goal is to have all of my tea fit into my cabinets I store them in (post about organization later). Now that I bought some new tins for cheap from New Years sales, my cabinets are about 2/3 of the way full with as many tins as I feel I need.

Overall, I am feeling pretty positive about the new year. Updates on how these goals are going will be regular, I am thinking of making them a monthly thing so I can keep myself on track.

Oatmeal Kick Up

So I am eating my breakfast getting ready to go to school after two of the most insane weeks of my adult life, medically. I have a new allergy, amoxicillin, and the kids have really virulent strep bacteria and viruses they are being a bit too free with sharing. Here is hoping the mess is over.

But I am so bored with pretty much all of the food in my house. This blog is supposed to inspire me to make changes, take life up a notch. Well, student teaching has sucked every ounce of improvement motivation right out of me.

This morning, however, there was a flash. I wanted some cinnamon-y tea that tasted like red hots that would hopefully wake me the hell up after my sick day yesterday. So I double strength brewed a cup of tea using Harney and Sons Hot Cinnamon Sunset...and used it in my oatmeal as the liquid, with a dash of almond milk.

Oh heaven of heavens. The possibilities this has opened. Delicious is just not a good enough word. And now I am rather curious to see what flavors happen if I use greens, or oolongs, or other flavors of black.

I highly recommend it if you have an extra 5 minutes in the morning and want to make oatmeal something a bit more special.

Weight Loss Update and Student Teaching Lunches

Well, the stress and constant standing of student teaching is great for weight loss. I am now at 312.2, almost 3 pounds down from just a few weeks ago. Right on track, even though I have not been tracking my food. I am glad for it, and glad that student teaching actually helps me reach my physical goals. I have not been walking all that much after school (we had a long weekend, so it ended up being 3 walks last week, not my goal of 5) because my feet are just too dead from standing all day. But so far, that is ok. When the weather gets a bit cooler, and as I get more used to being on my feet, that will hopefully change.

Also, I am taking advantage of bringing my lunch to school. It sounds simple, but you can't eat what you don't bring with you. So I try to bring a reasonably healthy (albeit fairly large) lunch. Lately it has been centered around a cup of kale for a salad with fresh herbs like dill or cilantro for more flavor, carrots and snap peas, with a couple tbsp of dressing. Then I will bring some fresh fruit, like grapes, or maybe a couple dried dates for fiber. I am bringing a little (1/4 cup) of chicken salad to put on the salad or nibble on alone because it will go bad soon if I don't, and that will switch to a hard boiled egg probably when the chicken runs out. Lastly, a piece of cheese, and some fruit snacks for dessert. I love fruit snacks. And I am allowed to have one junky splurge. Then I refill a water bottle with iced tea.

It is a lot to eat for lunch, but I tend to eat it in such a way where I eat the fresh things first, so if I am not hungry, I just won't open the cheese stick or fruit snacks, or anything else that will keep. Great for days I am starving, like today, but it still works for days I am anxious or lacking appetite but still want a nutritious lunch. I never skip lunch. I'd die.

I am hoping to make the check ins a monthly thing, but we will see how it goes.

Weight Loss

I have been "bigger" pretty much as long as I can remember. I had lost some weight when I was 23, thanks to Weight Watchers and eating canned soup twice a day, but have since gained it all back and then some. Recently, as part of cooking more, and trying to change my life in general, I decided to give earnest weight loss another go. This time using MyFitnessPal, because I don't want to spend the money on WW.

If anyone out there, like me, finds the stark contrast between dieting and overindulgence a bit too much to leap into, here are just a couple tips I have adopted over the years.

1.) Give up soda and juice...mostly. I do not purchase soda at the store, and drink it only occasionally when I go out to dinner. I average about two sodas per month this way, which is enough to keep the craving for it down without the icky side effects I always got from drinking lots of sugary (or fake sugary) drinks.

2.) Add in fruit...then vegetables. I got in the habit of making sure I had enough fresh fruit to have a couple per day, and then took to making sure I had a couple good servings of veggies per day. Even if it was just a boring salad and a couple apples as snacks, it helps me to eat the nutritious foods and then fills me up enough that I am less likely to eat as much of the pasta/ice cream/beef/whatever else.

3.) Aim to walk 30 minutes per day. For me, walking calms me, and gives me a chance to reflect on my day. I have not always been the best with this, but even if I end up only getting out a few times per week, that is a few times more than if I did not have the habit of going at all.

For now, these are the biggies. I also stopped sweetening my tea, with the exception of a drop of honey in chai, and am a bit more mindful of how much sugar I consume.

I am not looking to lose weight super fast, I found last time that it was fairly unsustainable. Twenty pounds every four months feels sustainable to me, and would really add up over time. At my heaviest a couple weeks ago I weighed 315 pounds. I hope to weigh 295 or less by the end of this calendar year.

Mango Peach Crisp

Few things are as comforting as dessert. I am normally a salt craving person, not sweet, but some sweet things are just too good to pass up. For me those things are brownies, fudge, Sour Patch Kids, ice cream...and fruit crisps. Normally apple crisp is all you can find, but once I realized how easy crisps are, I have been making them like crazy with any kind of fruit I can get my hands on! To date, I have done blueberry, strawberry rhubarb, peach, strawberry kiwi, and now mango peach.

Strawberry rhubarb is still the favorite...but I think mango peach is a close second. I use the recipe from the kitchn and it is fantastic. I only find that sometimes, the amount of butter is too much in the topping (I ended up with a very buttery blueberry crisp) and I just keep adding equal parts flour and oatmeal until the texture is what I want it to be. For me it is fairly dry, but still clumpy.

You can save topping, from what I hear, in the freezer...but I have never done that. Because topping is delicious, and more is always better when it comes to the crumbles.

Stress and Self Care

One thing I have been working on practically my whole life, and continue to tackle is managing my anxiety. I am happy and proud to report that I am, for the most part, in control of my anxiety the vast majority of the time. I was not always, and it was a long process of self analysis to figure out what triggers anxiety for me.

Unfortunately, the primary trigger, is transition periods. I am doing fairly well managing my anxiety about going from a relationship to being single, but am extremely anxious about student teaching instead. Spending the last two years hearing about how grueling it is, and how stressful, as well as how stressed and overworked we should be (a professor's comment, believe it or not), has made me feel entirely unprepared.

There is nothing more untrue than that feeling. I am entirely prepared. I have experience with handling groups of children already and am reasonably good at classroom management already. My lessons are always well thought out and are more often successful than not. I had a couple of previous field experiences that left me a little bit discouraged and frustrated, but others that really encouraged me and built me up. Everything is very dependent on the cooperating teacher for me in terms of feeling encouraged. I am meeting with my first cooperating teacher this Tuesday, and I am hoping that my anxieties will be significantly reduced as I help her set up her classroom and get to know the school.

Additionally, I am calling BS on a professor's claim that if I have any life at all outside of student teaching for the duration of the 15 weeks, then I am probably not making the most of the experience. An unhappy teacher is unlikely to have happy students. And a completely unbalanced life will always cause a teacher (or person) to be unhappy on some level. I want to be the very best I can be for the students, and give them the best I can give. To do that, I need to make sure I focus on self care as well as lesson planning.

So I am making a list of things I pledge to do during student teaching that are just for me, and will revive me so I can be more energized and dedicated to my work in return.

1. Walk at least 30 minutes, five days per week, weather permitting.
2. Manage my schedule so I put down all work and relax by 9pm most weeknights, if not all.
3. Try to dedicate one weekend day, or two half days each weekend day, to fun. Preferably with friends.
4. Take a bath weekly, and make time to do all the beauty pampering things I love so much.
5. Read one non academic book per week. *This one is a lofty goal, but I currently read at a pace of two to three books per week. Minimum of a book every other week.*
6. Start guided meditation. A friend gave me some she likes, and I want to start giving it a try.
7. If I can save up enough money, book a cheap hotel somewhere local (but not too local) and beautiful for a night during my week off in between placements.
8. Continue to make time for dating, albeit not super intensely, if a guy worth dating comes around.
9. Spend 20 minutes each day tidying up and cleaning, preventing the need to do much intense cleaning sessions and maintaining a space I love coming home to.
10. Keep cooking. As tired as I get. I am cooking some freeze-able things in the next couple weeks, but I also need to make time to make nutritious and healthy food (ideally with portable leftovers that can be easy and delicious lunches) at least on weekends so I can focus on other things during the week without sacrificing my health and weight loss goals.

I feel really good about the attitude I am going into this with - in December, I will recap and see which ones I was able to stick to!

Salmon

One thing I have really been making a concerted effort at is cooking more. I am 29 years old, living on a pretty strict budget, so eating out is not something I should be doing particularly often, and it is moderately embarrassing to have functional cooking skills at my age.

My ex was a great cook - I seem to be drawn to men who are. But, as I keep saying, time for some changes. I can be a great cook too. The very best cooks seem to not need recipes to make a lot of their best dishes. As it turns out, that is something I can do too, given a task simple enough.

One of my favorite dishes is salmon. Part of why I love it is that even fairly inept cooks can make it and it tastes good. I have been baking it with a little salt and pepper for years. I have also used plain Kraft Zesty Italian to marinate it, which is also pretty tasty. But by far the best way is with a dill yogurt sauce. Nothing revolutionary, but I didn't use a recipe for the one I made.

It is easy:

6oz plain greek yogurt

About 1tsp dried dill (really, however much or little as you want)

About 1/2 tsp garlic powder (1-2 cloves of fresh)

About 1tbsp white vinegar

Mix all together, and let sit in the fridge for at least a few hours so the flavors have a chance to really meld together. Then slather the sauce over the top of the salmon and let it marinate a little while. Bake as usual, which for me is usually 20-25mins at 350 degrees. When you take it out, excess moisture will be drawn out and the sauce will taste like herbed cheese. If you like goat cheese, you will love this.

If you don't normally think of yourself as a good cook, you'll love it even more.

Hello, my name is Leah. I am...

...looking for a change.

So many women my age seem to be in this state of transition I appear to feel stuck in, have been stuck in for years, but only just noticed. Most of my friends are married, many of the ones who are not will be soon. Many of my friends are 5+ years into a successful career, despite the economy making that rather difficult for most of my graduating class. With these two things, they are moderately secure, financially and socially. These are the people who at least appear to have successfully navigated the transition from lost 20something to adult. Then there are the rest of us.

I recently broke up with the man I really thought I might spend the rest of my life with. However, things have a way of working out for the better when it comes to these things. I currently have a profile on a popular online dating site, OkCupid, on which I have had success in the past. Some days that fact fills my heart with excitement of the possibilities...and others it makes me lose all hope in humanity. Seriously, anyone who has done the online dating thing knows exactly what I am talking about. (No really - just google "okcupid fails" and like a shitton of sites come up documenting the insanity that is online dating. Here is just one example if you needed any more proof: http://deadcupid.tumblr.com/ )

I am about to break into a new career field, having never really established a career after college to begin with. As it turns out, when the economy shits the bed and the jobs start getting scarce, having a Bachelor's in Animal Behavior isn't particularly helpful. I worked in the animal care field until realizing I wouldn't be able to feed myself AND my cats with that money (very important for a single lady, you know, as we apparently are required to have some cats). Now, I am finishing up my certification in Early Childhood Education from a small PA school, because finding a teaching position is also rather difficult, but at least when you get one you AND your cats can afford to eat.

I am 29 years old, and I feel nearly as lost as when I was 22, though I am a slightly better cook now. But with student teaching this fall, dating new people for the first time in four years, I am ready for some other changes too. Baby steps like cooking things, organizing my apartment so it looks like a home, and developing my skills as a new teacher. So this blog is for me, documenting some of the changes that are happening and will be happening soon, changes I know have been happening for years now without my notice. And talking about things I like, like tea, and makeup, and animals, and whatever else I like. If you are here reading all this, I hope you enjoy. Or, I am sorry, depending on how interesting my dating life has become.